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Friday, September 22, 2006
he offers the quick summary of his friend to another girl at the table
(a friend he once suggested to me)
handsome
successful
fun
and i object
saying
you said i could have that one
and he
with no pause, but carefully
says
maybe i decided to keep you for myself
and
as an afterthought
hey, a guy should be allowed his dillusions, right?
and i am left wondering
but there are a few things that have not been put out in the open yet that would alter the situation. FOR EXAMPLE: i would hope that my heart would stay far out of it. and if i started to feel that rawness again, i would bolt as fast as my legs could carry me. AND: what he might want would be impossible. emotionally absent. physically unavailable to the extent that he might expect. SO: a choice that i will allow to make itself because i'm getting worse and worse at asserting myself and lonlier and lonlier watching from the sidelines.
* posted by claire * 10:58 PM
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