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Wednesday, August 27, 2003
it's not fair
the problem between us was almost unnoticeable with states to stretch through
but now squished in the 4 feet of space between our houses, it has become unbearable
YOU are unbearable
UNBEARABLE
it is not fair
it is not fair
i should not have these problems
correct, what you're thinking: this is not a real problem
but dang it, it feels like it
i don't even know if you still want me
but YOU CAN'T HAVE ME
and I CAN'T HAVE YOU
because i am otherwise relationally occupied at the moment
and it is more than momentary
in fact, it's been nearly a year and a half
you don't belong in my life anymore
i have someone else
PLEASE PLEASE don't like me
i can't help but be attracted to you
i LIKE you
but that doesn't change the situation
i have given so much of myself to HIM
it is really something that has consumed me
in a wrong way, at times
i almost wish i was like those girls who worry about whether or not to show cleavege on the first date
simple
how many dates before you can have sex, asks cosmopolitan
and i laugh and am disgusted
but empty though it seems, it is also simply simpler
i have discovered the joy of playing with words
i will never enjoy playing with hearts
even if it doesn't feel like a game, i know it is
it's all a game
ring around the rosie
pockets full of posies
ASHES ASHES, WE ALL FALL DOWN
i like margaret atwood
and i have a job interview in an hour
hooray
* posted by claire * 11:45 AM
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